WLS Support

A Little About Me

Hi, my name is Beth. I'm a 52 year old mother of 3 daughters and have been happily married since May 1980. I'm an RN at a large local medical center and have worked in their Burn Center since graduation from Nursing School in 1977.

I have struggled with my weight issues since I was a young child. I first started putting on weight at the age of 8. I remained over weight for pretty much the rest of my life, with only brief times where I was able to maintain a normal weight, the longest time being the 3 years I was in college.

I, like so many others, attempted to lose weight. I went to Weight Watchers more times than I can remember. I always was successful at losing weight but even after a 75 pound weight loss I would put it back on, with at least 25 additional pounds.

At the age of 25, I became pregnant with my first child, to never again see the scale go below 200 pounds, until now. With each subsequent pregnancy, I added more pounds, until I reached over 300 pounds after delivering my 3rd child.

I had my surgery on January 30, 2006. I had the Roux-En-Y Gastric Bypass, performed by Dr Randal Baker. I was 341 pounds but had been 359 pounds at my heaviest. At this time, I'm at my goal and have lost a total of 211 pounds from my heaviest weight.

When I started this journey I had been diagnosed with sleep apnea, high blood pressure (on 3 meds), high cholesterol (on 1 med) and type II Diabetes (on 3 meds). Today all of those co-morbidities are gone and I am off all prescription medications.

My Decision

At the age of 48, I honestly felt as if I was hitting bottom, physically and emotionally. I had turned my back on my worsening health and emotionally felt if there was no way out. A co-worker of mine spent time talking with me about a family member, who recently had weight loss surgery, it was enough to plant that seed of thought.

My health had progressively become worse. I began to experience significant knee pain and shortness of breath. I was finding it harder and harder to get through my day and I knew that I could no longer close my eyes to the fact that I was in trouble.

I made an appointment with my pcp, to discuss the option of weight loss surgery. He answered my questions and was very supportive of the decision. He recorded all the information he needed, to be sent to my insurance company but because of the fact that he left on vacation the next day, the paperwork never was sent in. The longer I waited to hear news from my insurance company the more scared and nervous I became about my decision. Several family members were not supportive and I allowed myself to be swayed and I let the idea of surgery drop.

Over the next year, physically, I continued to feel worse and after a discussion with my husband, I once again pursued the option of weight loss surgery, only to be denied by my insurance company. I was crushed but determined, this time, that this was the only answer for me.

I re-contacted my pcp and discussed the criteria to get approval for the surgery. I needed to have additional co-morbidities, in order to be approved. At that time, I had only been diagnosed with high blood pressure. I strongly suspected that I had sleep apnea, so I had my doctor arrange for me to have a sleep study. I was thrilled to find that I had sleep apnea and was quickly approved to attend the orientation for weight loss surgery and further appointments with the Surgeon, Behaviorist and Internist.

Reality Hits Hard

I started my appointments with the MMPC Michigan Weight Loss Specialists within 3 weeks of attending my orientation. I was scared about the truth I might find about my health.

Even though I was a nurse, I was one of those people who was paralyzed at the thought of going to the doctor. I had avoided Doctor appointments most of my life, unless there was no way around them. I am not proud of the fact that I rarely got a physical. It had been years since I had a full blood work up. I strongly suspected my health was in trouble but I had closed my eyes to that fact, until now. When all the results from my pre-op lab work came in, I was found to have extremely high cholesterol, high blood pressure and Type II Diabetes. I was notified by my surgeon's office that they wouldn't do surgery until my labs were under better control. I had been approved by the insurance company for the surgery but until I took control of getting in the best physical condition that I could, there would be no surgery.

I spent the next 5 months aggressively working with my pcp to get my blood sugars down in a more normal range, along with my cholesterol. It took the addition of multiple medications but after 5 months my surgeon finally approved the surgery and scheduled a surgery date.  

My Journey to Finding Life

I am now just over 2 years post-op and I have to tell you that having surgery has been the best decision I have ever made for myself. All of my co-morbidities are gone and I have been able to live life in a way I never dreamed I would.

This journey is not easy; physically or emotionally. There were many days that I questioned what I had done to myself. There were many days that I had no desire to eat, where everything made my 'pouch' ache and I wondered if I would ever feel 'normal' again. More than once I was tempted to pick up my plate of food and throw it across the room, because it was just too much work to even eat.

Along with the physical struggles came emotional struggles. Food had been my friend for most of my life and that relationship and all that went along with it, had been pulled out from under me. I had to allow myself to grieve, to be angry, to actually 'feel' the emotional pain in my life, until I finally came to a place of acceptance.

The emotional side of this journey has been the biggest struggle for me. With all of the inward and outward changes, I found that I often lost sight of who I was. I would look in the mirror and not recognize myself, my personality and how I dealt with my world changed. Everything about me was so different. I was changing so fast, that at times it almost frightened me. I didn't know who I was! I found myself feeling restless and almost frantic for something. I didn't know exactly what it was but I felt as if I was at loose ends and I needed something secure to grab.

Looking back now, I think I had to discover who this new person was. I had to learn to love and embrace the person that I was becoming. I had to accept myself and come to know this person, as being someone who was 'safe'. Like I said, it often frightened me because I saw myself reaching outside of my comfort zone and I still doubted myself. There was a lot of inner conflict between my new nature and my old. Often I found myself longing to crawl back into the safeness of old habits. Those old self-esteem issues still lifted their heads. As I began to embrace this new person, I noticed the restless and frantic feelings began to calm. I was able to channel feelings in a more constructive way and I was able to relax, a bit and just appreciate the person that I was.

Today I can honestly say that I love the person that I am. Not only the outward person but also the inward person. For the first time in my life, inwardly and outwardly, I feel in-sync. This surgery, is the best gift I have ever given myself. I'm living a life I never dreamed that I could. I'm enjoying the world and the ability to be a part of it. I thrill every time I walk and not feel like I'm going to die. I thrill with the fact that I can climb up a tiny, winding, lighthouse staircase and appreciate the grandeur of Lake Michigan, in a way I haven't for years and years of my life. I can ride a bike, shop in a regular clothing store, tie my shoes, fit in my seatbelt, sit in a booth at a restaurant!! Every day for me feels like a gift.

My Dreams Now?

What are my dreams now? The biggest one is to just live LIFE! To enjoy and be thankful for each day that I have. I also have a dream though, of using my experiences and knowledge, to help others on this journey. My passion and my love has always been my Burn patients. I still carry that passion but it has also extended to the Bariatric Community. In the past year I have become a Bariatric Support Group Leader and I must admit, that in a very real way, I feel at home. I never dreamed I would be someone who wanted to lead but I am loving every minute of it and my hopes are that one day, I can become more involved within a Bariatric Practice, to reach out to others on this journey.

It is a journey that you can't do alone. It is a journey where it is essential to lean on others, to make yourself accountable to others and to never stop realizing that you have only been given a tool! We have to be the ones to use that tool, to cherish the gift and to realize that we are worth doing this right.

In closing? All I can say is, WOW, as I stand in awe of this miracle called LIFE and the ability to not only dream but to REALIZE those dreams can come true!